I have a bargaining thing that I do with the cheeseburger at Smashburger. It is a wrong food, bad, I am bad to want it, it makes me feel bad, but I don’t believe there is another food I love so much, that gives me so much pleasure in the mouth. So I try to say no, back away, get the chicken sandwich, as if that’s any more likely to keep me alive. I know that I am more likely to say yes if I wait and wait and don’t eat lunch until very late in the day. Today I stalled lunch with an orange, a packet of almonds left over from my last airplane flight. I asked colleagues for alternatives. I tried to walk past. But hey. Why not. Really. The world’s about to die, in part because of Smashburger cheeseburgers. I did get the child size, though. There is some good in that, slightly less dead cow?

O. had to use the bathroom and there’s no bathroom at the Starbucks at the Fulton Street Mall so we ducked into the Shake Shack instead and you had to buy something to get the bathroom code so really I was roped into it and there was nothing I could do I had to eat a cheeseburger for lunch.

The problem with a cheeseburger and fries is that even though it is the only thing I want in the whole wide world, it is always regrettable, always every single time a thing to regret. And yet. Gobbled it. Delicious. The best best best.

Honestly, the bun was a little stale. I’d been looking forward to that cheeseburger with every inch of the 19 miles I ran in the four days leading up to it, and then the bun was a little stale. There’s a didactic lesson in there, but I didn’t care about it at all.

I had the cheeseburger and fries, O. had a hot dog, A. met us and we ate outside before heading over to the baseball game. The very same pitcher we’d seen last season was pitching again, I didn’t think he’d stay here he’d been in such a slump, blamed the coach. Pitched well but our bats had nothing, lost another game in a losing streak.

By the time I got around to getting lunch it was three and I had this free-fries coupon burning a hole in my wallet so stepped out and had a cheeseburger and fries and I can’t lie, it was the best thing to happen to me all week.

The meeting confirmation email said Light lunch provided but then there wasn’t any lunch and my day went meeting, class, desk shift, it was 3pm before I could eat. By that time it was burger and fries or nothing, which I ordered and gobbled at the Smashburger across the street. The place was crawling with Brooklyn Tech kids, one of whom ordered a bunch of fries for everybody at the table as a surprise. Shero!