I bought a new jar of mustard at the grocery store today. The label promised it would be extra hot. I still slathered it on since extra hot on a label at my grocery store really only means it might taste like a little something. I also bought some romaine lettuce. When I washed it in my salad spinner, a fly came floating up to the top of the water. I ate in front of the Miami–New England game, wishing the Jets were playing instead. Who invented the bye week?